Only FIVE days until the 50th Anniversary special. I can honestly say, it will be the highlight of this semester so far :)
"What’s terrible is to pretend that second-rate is first-rate. To pretend that you don’t need love when you do; or you like your work when you know quite well you’re capable of better.”Doris Lessing
There are days when you don’t think you can make it. When the simple act of pushing forward, exhausted, overloaded, completely soaked with information and material to know and know again, leaves you holding your hands up to the sky and asking yourself “WHY?” You wonder if you’re smart enough, if you’re tough enough, if you will act quickly enough…..you wonder what mistake you will make and hope to whatever greater force that it’s a small one.
Nursing school can sometimes make you feel so small, so dumb, so weak just as much as it can make you puff your chest out with pride and ego. It teaches you so much, opens your mind up to so many things and then slams it closed the minute you test lower than you thought. What keeps a person going through all this? What makes someone elect to get up day after day to continue to trudge this path forward, seeking one small victory after another?
Because when you get it, it feels so… very… good.
When you are asked a question, even just one, and you know the answer without hesitation ….it’s like no other kind of pride I have ever felt before.
I was awake at 4:30am, I studied, plunged caffeine into my veins, took a quiz (which I aced and felt elated about) and came home before 10am. I conquered today already and it’s not even 1pm.
And it is in the moments when I sit still, grab time to contemplate what I’m doing that I realize that I have come so far. And I simply cannot picture being or doing anything else.
I won’t always know the answers and that is truly scary sometimes. I won’t always be cheerful or well studied and able to conquer exams, also a very intimidating fact. But even while I overhear all the angry, tired gossip, even when I watch as colleagues fall and leave the program, even on the days when it’s sometimes very very difficult to see the end of just this one semester, I chalk up my days to success when I can sit down and still envision my life as a nurse at the end of the day. When I can close my eyes and all I can see are ways to help people…..I know I have to continue to push. Exhausted, overloaded, and yes….full of sass and caffeine, I have to make a victory of each day, good or bad. I owe my future patients that.
Skeletor Affirmations (by ghoulnextdoor)
TODAY I EXPRESS MY EMOTIONS THROUGH INTERPRETIVE DANCE.
Edit: D’oh! Spell check, Skeletor! We’re leaving errors as-is, in the spirit of embracing our flaws and imperfections and all that jazz.
Gonna finish this paper…. #nursingschool #nursingstudent #tiredoftemplates